Heart Failure

Here we are, in love and in pain
So much to lose and yet so much to gain
Feelings for you that I cannot deny
Wondering what makes you unable to try

I had an accident, I slipped and fell for you
And it felt so good that I didn't have a clue
What once kept us safe has now put us in danger
The soul I once knew, has now become a stranger

Why must our feelings be immoral to the story
Why are we subject to all your dismal allegory
You want a happy ending, and yet you miss the plot
Though loving you may hurt, it's still the best I've got

I'm sorry that my feelings I cannot modify
I'm sorry I need you and don't know exactly why
I'm sorry it hurts you that I will not let you go
You choke on dark clouds while I seek the rainbow

Paralyzed by the possibility of scorn
I give you a rose, you obsess on the thorn
Your love is a bullet, lodged in my head
Attempt to remove it and I'm just as well dead

On the edge of heaven, yet going through hell
I ask for a chance but you never can tell
All my good judgement, love had it fooled
I must serve my sentence, objection overruled

Fear has tainted what once was pure
But what if what ails you is also the cure?
We cannot be together and it's tearing me apart
I should've used my head before I gave you my heart

Will there come a time when your smile is real?
Can't I stop your pain and start helping you heal?
The road to recovery can sometimes get rough
But if we both love each other, is that not enough?

I know you'll hurt yourself, left to your own devices
Don't you know that for you I'd make any sacrifices?
I'll always be your friend but I'd like to be more
You can't let me inside and then try to bar the door

But I can't make your choices and I cannot live your life
And maybe I can't save you but I will not twist the knife
I know I cannot leave you, with you I want to be
And someday I hope you realize just how much you mean to me.

--Sobek (1996)